We’ve all been there. Maybe a coworker made one too many slick comments during a meeting, or your situationship hit you with that final red flag. Suddenly, you’re not just upset, you’re ready to crash out. The group chat is blowing up, you’re drafting a long paragraph with impressive emotional range, and you’re seconds away from hitting send. In the moment, reacting feels good, almost necessary. But, as satisfying as it is to curse someone out or finally say exactly what’s on your mind, the aftermath of a crash out usually isn’t worth it.
The term might sound like a joke on social media, but crashing out is a very real, emotionally charged reaction, often impulsive, sometimes explosive, and typically driven by anger or hurt. It’s when your feelings take the wheel, and the consequences can make your life more stressful and complicated than it already was. Whether you’re triggered by a pesky coworker or exhausted by someone who clearly doesn’t deserve your energy, crashing out is more common than we’d like to admit.
So, what do you do when that wave of emotion starts to build? The truth is, crash outs may never stop entirely, but there are ways to handle them better. That’s why we talked to experts about how to navigate those intense moments with more clarity and less chaos. Managing your reactions doesn’t mean suppressing your feelings, it just means protecting your peace in the long run.
Experts Featured in This Article:
Karima Williams, founder of the Crash Out Diary and marketer in the crypto industry.
Marqueta Abraham, DNP, APRN, PMHNP-BC, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner.
How to Manage an Oncoming Crash Out
Crashing out is a normal part of the human experience, especially when you’re pushed past your limit. Whether it’s at work, in a relationship, or just navigating life’s daily stressors, everyone has a breaking point.
“Crash outs are necessary because they usually represent a consequence of someone else’s decision. Usually, they’re externally motivated. It’s a consequence of the behavior, unfortunately,” says Karima Williams, founder of the Crash Out Diary and a marketer in the crypto industry.
But while those intense emotions are valid, how we respond to them matters. Resorting to violence or destructive behavior might feel instinctual in the moment, but there are better ways to release that pressure without causing harm, especially to yourself. One tool designed to help in those exact moments is the Crash Out Diary.
Williams created Crash Out Diary, a website and app, to help users navigate intense emotions and reactive moments, specifically crash outs. The platform utilizes AI, allowing users to choose a support pathway (like love, life in general, or work), a specific support/style persona (from a blunt big brother to a soft, peaceful friend), and submit a message describing their reason for crashing out.
Essentially, you’re crashing in instead of crashing out. The platform then spits out a helpful response, from prompting you to take a walk to process your feelings, to therapist-inspired, affirming feedback.
“Some crash outs are necessary, but most of the time they’re not, and more harmful to yourself than anyone else,” Williams says. “Ideally, in the [Crash Out Diary] process, you’re venting and getting redirected to another behavior that’s more beneficial to you.” That said, there are plenty of other tools to use when it comes to crashing out responsibly. Ahead, we broke down three common scenarios ripe for a crash out, plus what to do instead.
When He Won’t Text You Back
Let’s be real: most crash outs making the rounds on social media usually involve one thing — romantic drama. Whether it’s casual dating, situationships, or full-blown relationships, putting yourself out there emotionally always comes with risk. Vulnerability is hard, and when someone ghosts you, plays you, or just doesn’t meet your energy, it hurts. In moments like that, specifically getting left on read, a crash out can feel justified; reasonable, even.
“If you’re getting ghosted, you don’t feel appreciated or taken into consideration. They’re several factors on why the person didn’t text you back, but it’s not up to you to make those assumptions,” says Marqueta Abraham, DNP, APRN, PMHNP-BC, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner.
While the urge to blow up their phone or air them out on Instagram might offer short-term satisfaction, it rarely gives you the peace you’re really looking for. There are better ways to process disappointment without losing your power in the process. You can start by de-centering the other person and centering yourself to figure out what you value in relationships.
“To mitigate a crash out, you first need to know what your values are as an individual,” Dr. Abraham says. “Figure out those core values that you try your best to live by.”
Knowing your core values helps ground you when you’re triggered and angry. It reminds you what you do and don’t stand for, and what you’re seeking in a relationship. Instead of reacting impulsively out of hurt or anger, you can respond (or choose not to respond) in a way that aligns with your values, protecting your self-respect and emotional well-being.
So if that special someone didn’t text you back for a couple hours or days on end, pour into yourself. At the end of the day, if someone doesn’t have the capacity to have healthy communication with you, do they deserve to be in your life?
When Your Boss Overlooks Your Accomplishments
Crash outs aren’t just reserved for your romantic relationships. They can creep up in professional settings, too — especially when it feels like your hard work is being ignored. Maybe you’re consistently putting in extra hours, hitting your goals, and showing up fully, yet your boss never acknowledges your effort. Or worse: they give credit for your accomplishments to someone else. That kind of dismissal doesn’t just sting, it can wear away at your self-worth over time.
For Black women especially who are often navigating a minefield of bias and workplace politics, the choice between speaking up and staying composed is exhausting. It’s frustrating, disheartening, and can trigger the kind of emotional response that makes you want to walk out, go off, or send a worded email.
But, while the desire to crash out in a professional setting is valid, acting on it impulsively can have consequences that ripple far beyond the moment. Instead, it’s important to find healthier ways to release that frustration and still advocate for yourself.
“In my institution, I experienced a white professor say ‘You’ll never become a doctor.’ It hurt, but I thought, ‘Why would I pay attention to what you’re saying?’ You can’t allow things to get to you, because you need to focus on you,” Dr. Abraham says.
If your boss continues to overlook your contributions, don’t stay silent, bring it to their attention. Keep a record of your accomplishments, set up a meeting, and clearly communicate how your work is being undervalued. If nothing changes after that conversation, start exploring new opportunities where your talent will be respected and your growth supported.
When Your Mom Is Criticizing Your Lifestyle Choices
Closer relationships, like long-term friendships and your family dynamics can trigger a crash out as well. Some parents are super critical of your decisions, even if those choices make you happy. That sting of disapproval isn’t coming from a stranger you can brush off, it’s coming from someone who raised you — someone whose opinion might still hold power whether you want it to or not. In those moments, the urge to crash out, like arguing at the dinner table, firing off a defensive text, or shutting down completely can feel overwhelming.
But exploding won’t help, and neither will pretending the hurt doesn’t exist. Instead, the key is to set boundaries while honoring your emotions. Dr. Abraham says if a “person can’t handle authenticity and transparency,” it’s time to make some changes about how they fit into your life. If the “person is making a bigger effort to not understand” you, it’s totally appropriate to create new boundaries.
That might mean taking a beat before responding, expressing how their words impact you, or even limiting certain information about your life if they can’t be received with respect. You don’t have to accept constant criticism just because it’s coming from family, and you don’t have to lose your peace to defend your joy, either.
Ultimately, crashing out isn’t abnormal. If you feel angry, triggered, or annoyed about something, it’s a caveat to being human. However, if you want to live a healthier and happier life, you must learn how to handle your emotions, instead of letting them handle you. Using these tips, you can redefine crashing out from a destructive reaction to a necessary emotional response. In the end, you can transform your heated crash outs into opportunities for growth.
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