As someone who loves a classy cocktail lounge, there’s nothing wrong with “grabbing drinks” on a date. But, I’m also someone who doesn’t like to drink that often, which is why I’d like to make a case for the workout date. Hear me out: I started going on dates outside of the typical “let’s meet for drinks,” several years ago while actively dating in New York City.
When you go on enough first dates, the idea of “let’s grab drinks,” gets old quickly. So I started trying to plan a “workout date” by the third date with anyone I was seeing. This did several things for me: first, it helped me weed out people who may not be compatible with my lifestyle and values. I’m an active person who prioritizes my health and fitness. If someone I’m dating is not also into health or working out, it’s probably not going to be a match (not to mention that health and fitness is literally my day job!).
“There’s nothing like a few drinks and low lighting to make you think you’re into someone more than you actually are.”
Second, if by the third date, I haven’t interacted with this person outside of a bar or restaurant, I need to see them in a different setting. There’s nothing like a few drinks and low lighting to make you think you’re into someone more than you actually are. A daytime, sober date can be the ultimate litmus test of whether or not you actually have chemistry…or maybe you realize the cocktails clouded your judgment. Plus, worst case scenario, if it’s not a match you end up doing an activity that you already would do normally and don’t end up “wasting” a precious day or night on yet another drinks date.
Lastly, asking someone if they will do a workout class or activity that is outside of their comfort zone can be a sign of how open someone is to new experiences. Do they say yes to a hot yoga class even though they’ve never been to one? Are they down to hop into a cold plunge when that’s not their thing? Openness to new experiences and trying new things can be incredibly sexy (especially if that is a quality you value in a potential partner).
Getting someone out of their comfort zone also teaches you a lot about them. And in my mind, the earlier you can see different sides of people, the better. I understand that going on a workout date could sound like a nightmare to some people — and to each their own. But exercising is a priority for me and if someone really hates it or doesn’t make time to do so, it’s a deal breaker.
This advice can apply to any area of your life that is important to you, though (not just working out). Is music a huge part of your life? Go to a concert. Love nature? Ask your date to go on a hike. This way, at least if the date goes wrong, you’re still doing something you love, no matter how things work out. And if you’re like me and love to exercise, I strongly urge you to consider the workout date. Not only will it weed out the duds, but who doesn’t love watching a man sweat it out to impress them?
Mercey Livingston is a writer and editor with eight-plus years of experience covering fitness, health, and nutrition for media outlets and brands including Well+Good, Shape, and Women’s Health. She was the fitness editor at Peloton and held editorial roles at Equinox, Shape, and Well+Good. Mercey is a NASM-certified personal trainer and women’s fitness specialist. She’s also a certified holistic health coach through the Institute For Integrative Nutrition, with an additional certification in hormone health.
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